Adventures in Babysitting

Recently, I have been browsing the "craigslist" of England for possible part-time jobs. I would love to get to know some locals through it, and, you know, not eat as much pasta for dinner.* But when I was surveying the ads for a local part-time nanny/babysitter, I was shocked to find that I am under-qualified for the majority of positions.

Now, I'm all about finding someone that you trust to take care of your child. But some of these ads are just down-right ridiculous. I forgot that I am in a land where it's not the 16-year-old neighbor watching Timmy after school until Mom and Dad come home. Nannies are a respected and traditional position.

Here's a sample of an ad:

"French and Norwegian-Speaking Nanny needed

Description: Laid-back** VIP*** family is looking for a full-time nanny for their 5 month-old from 8am- 5pm. Requirements are as follows:

- Fluency in English, French, and Norwegian. Reading ability in Mandarin is not mandatory, but helpful.

- EU passport (family often takes weekend trips and you need to be prepared to join as necessary)

- Current CRB check (criminal records bureau)

- Valid UK driving licence (car will be provided)

- First Aid certificate

- CPR certified

- Minimum 10 years' nannying experience from families who must provide extensive references, including a minimum of 3 years experience with children aged 0-1. At least 2 years' experience with a native English-speaking family within the UK. Preferably within central London, Chelsea district.

- Childcare degree (will accept 2 year, but prefer 4 year. 2 additional pounds per hour for masters work.)

We are a Norwegian/English/French family who are very interested in having our son learn all of these languages. Therefore, fluency is necessary so that you may begin his tutoring.**** Please submit a covering letter, CV, and reference list for further consideration. We will likely hold 2 rounds of interviews. Successful candidates will be contacted. Top rate of 8-10 pounds/hour depending on qualifications."

Guess I'm never going to babysit in this town.

* All of my fellow poor student friends know what I'm talking about. I believe Knocked Up quoted it the best: "I'm not poor or anything, but I eat a lot of spaghetti."

** Riiiiiiight.

*** Not every other family in London is VIP. Perhaps, the British need to be reminded of this.

**** Waaaaaaait. There's one kid. Who is 5 months old. I'm supposed to talk to myself in different languages?? And then... write to him in Mandarin? [After a discussion on this topic, one of my flatmates did a double-take when she thought she saw a baby driving a car yesterday. Turns out, he was simply sitting on the "American driver's seat" which, of course, is the passenger side here. We have all concluded that it must be tough to be a baby in London, with all the driving and Norwegian-speaking you have to do.]