Are you alright?

I have reached the point of living in London where I actually run into people that I know around town. This is utterly exciting, because it is finally beginning to feel like home. But, every now and then, when I exchange pleasantries with friends, there is one phrase that throws me:

"Are you alright?"

Now, while in America, we generally only ask this if there actually looks like something is wrong with the other person [typically, it is followed up by some sort of "You might want to get that finger checked out" or "Is that bone showing?"], England has a different approach. To the British, "are you alright?" is akin to "how are you doing?" or "how are things going?" There is no implication that something looks amiss.

But for some reason, I can never remember this. So, when a friend throws me a curveball with this pleasantry, this is typically my facial expression and thought process that follow:

"Hi Mackie! Are you alright?"

Uh... what did you just say? Oh wait, I can't say yes or good... can I?

Wait a second. Are you implying that I look sick? That's just plain old rude.

Well, maybe you're right. My throat has been feeling tingly lately. I could look terrible right now. Wait a second, am I becoming French a hypochondriac?

Oh, jeez. We're in Britain. They just want to know how you're doing. This has been the longest pause of my life. And they are still staring, waiting for an answer. Dangit, this is awkward.

At this point, I usually squeak out a "I am... alright" before quickly changing the subject in my attempt to get the other person's mind off of the fact that I clearly just had the strangest reaction to a seemingly typical question. I remind myself not to act so weird the next time this comes up, but that "are you alright?" gets me every single time.